Winter Wonderland

As I walked the city streets on my lunch hour today, I couldn't help but reminisce about a time much simpler, much more peaceful. Wintertime in Chicago. Oh, many people will tell you that summertime in Chicago is the shit. It's shit, alright. Filled with people who don't know where they're going, Greenpeace hippies, and frat boys who have come out of hibernation. Are you not following? Let me explain. When the kids get out of school, many parents like to bring their kids into the downtown area to give them some culture. As they try to locate the free trolleys to the museum campus and Navy Pier, they get in the way of us working folks who actually have to get to Gold Coast Dogs and back on our lunch hour. Then there are the Greenpeace hippies who stand on every street corner. "Hey, man! Do you have a minute for the environment?" Please do not bother me! I have a double cheeseburger in a sack that I hold at my side, and I will use it! And last but not least are the frat boys. These dudes can't weekday sauce in the winter when there is more than 1/4" of snow on the ground. But once the snow thaws and the Cubs start playing, they come out in force. Taking up valuable real estate on the barstools I so covet! Anyway, summer is here, come visit the city, hooray.